Donovan Pavilion, Colorado

When considering the location of your wedding, you will no doubt come face to face with the ultimate decision: indoor or outdoors?

And while the weather is a key factor in your decision, there are other things to consider as well.

Take a look at some of the PROS and CONS of indoor and outdoor weddings.

Indoor Weddings: The Good, the Bad and the Unfilmable

Pros:

• Weather - Rain, hale or shine, your big day will be protected from the worst that Mother Nature can conjure.
• Privacy - Whether you are subject to the unwanted attention of the paparazzi or drunken picnickers, being indoors always allows you to draw the curtains.
• Noise - Both the roar of passing ambulances and the warbling of your wedding singer can be contained by sturdy sound-proofing.

Cons:

• Atmosphere - Often the reception room can feel a bit stark and uninviting - especially if it is also used for Bingo and Board meetings.
• Individuality - As with the lack of atmosphere, it can be a challenge to create a personalised feel in a space that hosts a wedding a week.

Outdoor Weddings: The Good, the Bad and the Unfilmable

Pros:

• Setting - You can make the most of your city’s natural assets, hosting your wedding in picture-perfect surroundings.
• Cost - From your backyard to a marquee by the river, you can often control the costs more effectively when you are not paying a large venue fee.
• Space - Your wedding can be as extravagant or all-inclusive as you wish when you host it in the local park.

Cons:

• Acoustics - Your soprano’s sweet songs may be blown away at an outdoor event, not to mention our minister’s mumblings.
• Construction - Scope out your venue in advance to avoid jack-hammers and jeering bricklayers.
• Flora and Fauna - Consider insect invasions (river mosquitoes and pollen-hungry bees) in search of delicious table arrangements and uncovered arms.

Having a close friend - or worse still, your mother - turn up in a white gown on your special day is a classic Big Day blooper.

But there are also other mistakes that the hosts can make that will take the shine off your big day.

1. Forgetting a Family Feud

When your own view of the world is full of love and positive energy, it can be tempting to assume that everyone around you is equally blessed.

But it important that you do not gloss over other people’s feelings or concerns.

Your wedding may not be the best time to build bridges between estranged family members. If your sisters haven’t spoken in a decade, seating them side-by-side at you wedding may backfire on you. Rather than inspiring a reconciliation, it may make both them and everyone in their vicinity very uncomfortable.

If your wedding simply won’t be complete without a reconciliation, consider getting the estranged parties together in the weeks before your special day.

Just keep in mind that resolving conflicts of any kind is usually a delicate and complex process.

2. A Hitch in your Transport Plans

The ceremony is sensational, the reception is perfect and you and your partner waltz off into the sunset… leaving a hundred weary guests with no way to get home.

Even if you think you have assigned enough “skippers” to transport everyone at the end of the night, make sure that you have a contingency plan.

If public transport isn’t an option, considering hiring a shuttle bus or arranging with a taxi company to direct some of their cars to your venue.

Keep in mind that the more remote your location, the more difficult it is to get home - and I’ve had first-hand experience of a wedding in a country town, miles from a main road and with no cell phone reception… Let’s just say that my pretty party shoes were no match for the walk home!

3. Things Best Left Unsaid

The first rule of public speaking is identifying your audience.

Your speeches should reflect the tone of your special day. If it is a very formal occasion, structured speeches are expected, but if it is more relaxed, you might like to encourage impromptu well wishes from family and friends.

The boorish best man speech has become a bit of a cliche, but poorly chosen words can tarnish your whole day. If you are concerned about the content of the speeches - or are unsure about what you should say - do some research into the etiquette of speech-making.

If in doubt, remember that the bachelor parties are the best place for bawdy comments and your wedding video is for a lifetime!

4. Bubbling Over

The euphoria of the day is usually enough to keep the bride and groom dancing into the night, but if you are keen on consuming some bubbly have a strategy in place before you get started.

When our spirits are high it often takes less alcohol than normal to become intoxicated. To avoid any bubbly blubbers (when you start sobbing on the shoulder of the nearest waiter) set some ground rules early:

1. Don’t start as soon as you roll out of bed - champagne with your cereal probably isn’t necessary
2. Fill your own glass rather than letting others do it for you, so that you can keep track of refills
3. Put your glass down between sips - and set it almost our of reach so that you have to make a conscious effort
4. Drink at least as much water as alcohol and have water bottles on every table
5. Make sure you eat, even if your dress is fitted
6. Make a pact with your bridesmaids to ensure that you all monitor each other

Just remember that this is a day you want to remember, so pace yourself!

When we launch into our wedding preparations, we can immediately come up against confusion and conflict if we haven’t created the right sort of foundation of information.

In other words, some discussions are essential early in the planning process as they form the basis of future preparations.

For instance, looking at a dozen reception venues is a lot of fun - but not a productive use of your time if you don’t know how many people you are planning on inviting!

So here are our top five essential early discussions:

1. Number of Wedding Guests

You and your partner might scoff at this one - of course you are going to have a small intimate ceremony with only your closest friends in attendance! The picture may change, however, when you get your parents involved.

Weddings are one occasion when everyone has a different idea of who are the “essential” invites. You may not even remember Great Aunt Mavis, but the thought of leaving her out of the celebrations may cause your mother to go running for the family photo album.

The best approach is to send everyone away to draw up their lists - and then get ready for some serious negotiation over numbers!

2. Who Pays

Knowing who holds the wallet - and how much is in it - is essential to planning the style and size of your wedding.

A friend of mine recently found out that different countries have different theories on this one. In Australia, for instance, the groom’s parents pay for all of the alcohol at the reception, but this doesn’t apply to all countries - or families for that matter!

This is one discussion that has to be had early - even if you think it is bad manners to talk about money.

One way to do this sensitively is to get both sets of parents together and to tell them how much you and your partner are contributing. Depending on their circumstances, you could ask them to contribute what you think is appropriate or give them a chance to offer what they feel comfortable with.

If you have never discussed money with your parents, sound them out in private first…

3. The Level of Formality

Times are changing, but viewpoints on a great tradition like marriage may be a little slower to adapt.

If you want an informal beach ceremony, but your partner is from a traditional family, you may find that the idea of sand in their champagne doesn’t go down too well.

If you are determined to rock the boat on this one, go into battle armed with some really clear and rational reasons.

Similarly, if your parents have been hoping and praying that you will elope but you’re after a glamorous affair with eight bridesmaids and an aviary of white doves, get this discussion on the table early.

Again, compromise might be the key in this situation.

4. Wedding “Committee” Roles and Responsibilities

Everyone loves a wedding, but just because the magic word is in the air, don’t expect your friends and family to suddenly turn into the perfect planning committee.

Like everything in life, personalities are fairly inflexible. If your sister can’t plan her way out of a car-park, don’t expect her to run around with a clipboard and pager. If your mother had you lined up for live television spots as a toddler, then expect that she will want a fairly hands-on role in your wedding.

The best approach is to work out a list of tasks - there are some great online checklists available - then assign a name to each. Ask each person if they would like to contribute to the planning, but don’t take offense if they don’t feel up to it.

You can always hire a Wedding Planner, after all!

5. Essential Wedding Traditions

Every family accumulates their own traditions and rituals.

Rather than being surprised when everyone on the groom’s side of the church wears red or your grandmother invites you both to tea to discuss fertility issues, get all of the family skeletons out of the closet early in your discussions.

Agree on which rituals have a place in your life - but also be sensitive to the small things that can make a big difference to others.

Remember: If you don’t have the time or confidence to start these conversations, a blog is a great tool to get the ball rolling!