The wedding waltz… the first dance as husband and wife…

Wedding Dance professionals, Art and Bonnie, from(www.dancingwithartandbonnie.com) wax lyrically about the wedding waltz:

The song or lyrics of a song that really occur or define the moment when a couple KNOWS they have fallen deeply in love define your first dance. Think of your song as a musical and emotional photograph that fulfills the time, place, and circumstance of the realization of your love. When you hear this song you can think of nothing else but spending the rest of your life’s dreams, hopes, & wishes with that special person…

I’m not sure that their view of the traditional wedding waltz is reflected in the following three videos however:

On a more serious note, the following suggestions, courtesy of Art and Bonnie, are designed to help you make these moments as meaningful and memorable as possible:

1. Learn to dance no later than 6 months prior to your wedding date. You don’t want to do this at the, “panic stage,” or last minute.
2. Select a song that you love with a good dance tempo. Foxtrot & Waltz are your best bet particularly if your using the Quickstart program. Slow ballads are beautiful but too slow for either Foxtrot or Waltz which makes it very difficult for beginners. If you have chosen a Slow Ballad there is a popular dance form known as Slow Dancing that you may want to investigate.
3. You must be willing to practice often but in short increments. (5-10 minutes 2-3 times a week)
4. Try not to make your 1st Dance at the Wedding the first time you are dancing in public. You must get out on a social dance floor and “swim with the sharks.”
5. Be kind, understanding, and forgiving to each other and yourself when learning to dance together. It isn’t easy and it will be a good test of your patience and cooperative skills as a couple. After all you’ll have to do things together, not unlike this, the rest of your lives.

Despite the media buzz about the rise of the metrosexual male, many men are still a little uncertain about preparing for their big day.

If the man on the verge of walking down the aisle usually avoids the “personal grooming” section at the supermarket at all costs, it can be a difficult subject to broach. After all, his six brothers all have hair growing out of their nose and spent the night before their wedding covered in feathers and chained to a bike rack…

To warm him up to the idea of some personal TLC, start dropping the following ideas into your pre-wedding discussions:

Getting His Beauty Sleep

One of the things many a man sacrifices as his wedding approaches is his beauty sleep.

Caught up in the whirl of male bonding that is often inspired by the imminent end of bachelorhood, he can quickly become sleep deprived. And as my sleep therapist once put it, catching your zzzzzs is not like building a bank account. You can’t bank on get twice as much sleep the day after an all-night party and feel refreshed. Regular, plentiful and relaxed sleep is the only thing to ward off the black circles and pouchy eyes.

Some quick tips for getting great sleep:

• Rule out caffeine after four o’clock
• Cut down on alcohol and fatty foods
• Get into a routine of sleeping at the same time
• Have a hot shower or relaxing bath just before bed
• Keep the bedroom only for sleep and sex - no late-night TV

Meditating On It

Getting married is a major life change and a great time to reflect on your life, goals and achievements.

If he is a little unsure about formal meditation programs, grab some relaxing CDs or indulge in relaxing walks.

The focus is to get some inner peace - great to stockpile before the emotional roller-coaster of a wedding!

Trading Favors

While all of your attention may be on selecting your wedding favors, a good way to get him relaxed and ready for his big day is to share some mutual pampering.

Despite his current slip-slop-slap approach to skin care, he probably has cast more than one inquisitive glance at all of your potions and creams.

Spend an afternoon giving his a facial or a foot bath and then talk him through returning the favor.

At the very least you will save some money and he will develop a new appreciation for your commitment to beauty!

Seeking Professional Help

If none of the above appeal to the man on the verge of marriage, then book him an afternoon at a day spa.

By putting him into the hands of a professional, he should be more inclined to drop his skeptical act and relax into a pair of experienced hands.

Whether it is your own wedding - or you are merely paying for it - there will be occasions when you run up against a very firm difference of opinion.

Such conflicts, if not resolved, can blow out more spectacularly than the wedding budget.

One friend’s disagreement with her future mother-in-law over the traditional frosted icing or profiteroles caused such bad feeling, that when it came time to lovingly feed her new husband a slice, she upended the whole top tier of the cake over his head!

But before you start having nightmares involving grenade-like profiteroles, try applying the following two tried and tested negotiation techniques.

1. A.P.E

No, this doesn’t have anything to do with the guy in the gorilla suit at your bachelorette party… It is a simple acronym for Acknowledge, Paraphrase and Explore.

In other words, when a sticking point arises or tempers flare, try cooling things down by:

1. Acknowledging their point of view. Despite your childhood dream of a wedding in a big city hotel, a marquee by the river is a definite possibility for the wedding reception.
2. Paraphrasing their point of view, to reveal that you have listened to their concerns and understand their issues. The marquee is romantic, cost-effective and big enough to ensure the thirty-three cousins can all attend.
3. Exploring a middle ground between your viewpoints. While the marquee sounds wonderful, the river tends to flood mid-winter, so how about a glassed-in pavilion up-stream, that just happens to back onto a luxurious five-star resort?

If APEing merely results in a lot of chest-thumping and teeth baring, try:

2. Barter

This is where you need to dig deep to your distant roots as a horse-trader and recognise that everyone can end up happy if you are all willing to trade.

The beauty of the barter is that a win-win is highly likely.

Your mother-in-law wants a full nuptial mass but you were hoping for a civil ceremony on the beach? To get what you want, what are you willing to trade? Would you go so far as agreeing to wear her five meter veil with the rosebuds around the crown?

Just keep in mind your B.A.T.N.A. - another acronym which means your “Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement”. In technical terms it is “the alternative action that will be taken should your proposed agreement with another party result in an unsatisfactory agreement or when an agreement fails to materialize.”

In other words, if your mother-in-law won’t take the trade, what is your alternative action? Another trade? Giving in? Moving to France?

Some of us hardy souls decide that the normal challenges of planning a big day are just not enough. We have to complicate things further by going long-distance.

Whether planning a wedding in another country or heading off to university in another state, the distance between you and your goal can be daunting.

Without local knowledge or your usual support structures and faced with tackling everything from foreign bureaucracies to time zones, the process of planning your big day can leave you feeling tied up in a million knots.

And while it is true that modern technology has brought us many wonderful new tools, sometimes it only seems to complicate things further.

In reality, the more options we have at our fingertips, the harder it can be to find the right buttons to press to meet your needs.

Two Key Challenges of Long-Distance Planning

1. Marching to a Different Beat

One key challenge of planning across time and space is that when decisions just have to be made, the other interested parties are tucked up in bed asleep.

Tackling time zones is stressful. Conversations have to be put on hold and office hours never suit.

Phone calls wake the whole household, emails go unread and your attempts to message others come back with the dreaded “offline.”

Sometimes it can feel as if rather than just a timezone, you are a world apart.

2. Singing off a Different Song Sheet

More challenging still is the fact that distance seems to create enormous pockets of misinformation, where the simplest things can be lost in translation.

While you are positive that you and your interested parties are all on the same page, they are in fact reading things upside down and back to front!

Take the example of a good friend of mine who was planning an interstate wedding. The future mother-in-law misread a comment about a nice classical CD my friend had heard and the next thing she knew she had a five-piece string orchestra booked for her walk down the aisle.

Not so bad except that my friend had already put her money into a band for the reception and was forced to make some unpleasant calls to undo the arrangements her mother-in-law had made with the very best of intentions.

Putting the Love Back into Long-Distance

Clear communication is at the foundation of every successful relationship, so it is no wonder that when your lover, your friends, your family, your teacher, or your business partner is out of sight, conversations can become strained.

And when decision have to be made, you can feel very alone and isolated, adding to the stress of the planning process.

Not to mention all the hurt feelings of family and friends when they think they are “out of the loop”.

Quite simply, when planning for your big day, it is one time when having your parents-in-law on the other side of the world can be a bad thing!

So how do you ensure everyone is up to date, keep your thoughts and ideas organised and give all interested parties a voice?

Try creating your own big day blog. It is cheap (sometimes even free!), fun and gets everyone involved.

By the time your big day rolls around, you will all be singing in perfect harmony!